Margaret and I were born and raised in a predominantly Catholic country in the Philippines. At pre-school school, we were already taught and expected to memorize the prayers and the songs. And as you enter grade school even all the way up to college – Religion was basically a part of your curriculum. You may say that it was enough for us to be deemed “religious.” But it wasn’t. In all honesty, it was even the reason why we started becoming complacent.
We began to lose sight of what it was to actually practice our faith. To us at the time, it became a routine. Something that has been drummed into our system and basically just have to do.
When we moved to America, we had no family to support us or turn to. But we were excited for the new life that we had in front of us and we welcomed it head on. In the beginning we were the same, yeah we went to church but just because we were used to it. My thoughts were that it was “expected” of us-being Catholic and all. But something drew me to St. Martha. I fell in love with the church. I was a lector before in the Philippines so I asked if I could volunteer at the church as well. It jump started me to get involved with the church more and it really made me feel happier.
Then our family had to go through something very traumatic. We were at a very bad place. I started questioning God once again. My past wasn’t a walk in the park trust me and I instantly spiraled like I did before. What’s worse was that now I was dragging my daughter down too. But just when I thought we’d lose hope and lose our way; the answer came to us so clearly.
Around that time was when I decided to join choir. It was a kind of release for me and I started bonding with the group so it became my escape. They urged Margaret to join as well and when she did it was just like clockwork. We never really paid much attention to the lyrics of the songs… their meaning… But each time we practiced, the songs did really become prayers. Each line were God’s words answering every question we had.
And as we became more involved with Life Teen, the more we got to connect with God in a deeper sense. He brought us back to life, he healed us, he made us whole again. Though it was just Margaret and I, we have never felt more complete because God was in our life. Everything was better. And even though we still continue to have struggles in life, we weren’t afraid anymore. We always had hope and positivity because we learned how to trust God and that no matter what happens he is there for us and that everything happens for a reason.
We became closer to each other more than ever and we became stronger too. God really turned things around for us. He literally told us not to worry and that he will not abandon us. Our little family of 2 may be small but it is definitely full of love.
I am proud to say that really God was our savior. He was our guiding light when we were at our darkest. He was our source of strength. He also gave us our family – our church family. He gave these amazing people who shared the same faith as us and who understands us and supported us unconditionally. Whatever we lost at the time, he gave back to us tenfold. We have never felt more welcomed and loved. And it was all because God took the reins.
When we had to move back to the Philippines, at first it really took a toll on us. We didn’t want to leave the States. We were happy and content. We couldn’t bear the thought of being away from our church. It was tough. We again asked God why this had to happen, when everything seemed to have fallen into place already.
But yet again, God answered us directly. Whatever second thoughts or fears we had, he laid them to rest. He was telling us to trust him and that everything truly has a purpose. So we said, “God your will be done.”
The first two weeks back was unbearable. We found ourselves everyday saying that we want to hop on the next flight back to the US no matter what. We prayed and prayed telling God if this was what he really wanted. And you know what? As the days moved on, it became better. Things started settling down. We started reconnecting with our family and what was more beautiful is that we also became more closer than before. It was surprising because my family (my parents and my brother) and I have had a rough patch but now we started working on our relationships with each other. It was something that I’ve always dreamed of but honestly gave up on. But of course, God knew better – he always does.
And now though of course a part of our hearts will always belong to St. Martha, we are finally slowly finding peace. With everything that happened, only one thing was constant. It was God. He was our pilot, our captain. He was what kept Margaret and I together through thick and thin.